Why Nannies Should Ask for a Performance Review
Why Nannies Should Ask for a Performance Review
As the year winds down, families are shifting into holiday mode. They are traveling, taking time off work, and preparing for a brand-new year. Many are thinking about what they can do in 2026 to have it be an even better year than 2025. While thinking about personal goals, are you thinking about your professional goals, and how you can serve your family even better in 2026?
If you love the family you’re with and want a long, healthy relationship, one of the most professional and important things you can do is ask for feedback regularly. This is why we encourage regularly scheduled performance reviews.
When to Ask for Performance Reviews
We recommend checking in at:
30 days
90 days
6 months
1 year
annually after that
If any of these milestones are approaching, it’s the perfect moment to pause, reflect, and open the door for conversation.
Why YOU Need to Initiate the Conversation
Here’s a little industry secret: Most parents will avoid giving feedback unless you ask.
This is not because they don’t care about you and your work, but because they care TOO MUCH. Giving feedback to the person caring for their children feels incredibly vulnerable. Many parents are nervous about:
hurting the feelings of their nanny
creating tension in the home
the nanny quitting
or worst of all, the nanny taking any frustrations out on their child
This protective instinct is real, and it’s rooted in love for their children. When YOU open the conversation, you remove the fear and show you genuinely would love to hear their feedback. This shows you care about your work, and want to be the best nanny possible for their family.
How to Start
If you’re not sure what to say to open the door, keep it simple:
“I’d love to check-in and make sure I’m supporting your family in the best way possible. Would you mind filling out this review form when you have a few minutes? I would then love to sit down and review it with you to ensure we are partnering in the best way possible for your children.”
Don’t have a form? Download our sample evaluation form here.
This format gives parents structure, reduces awkwardness, and keeps the conversation productive.4. Model and Maintain Emotional Boundaries
The Most Important Step
If you ask for feedback… receive it.
Don’t defend.
Don’t explain.
Don’t get defensive.. Just Listen.
Even the best nannies have areas to grow. The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is partnership.
Acknowledging feedback with maturity communicates professionalism and emotional intelligence (which parents REALLY notice). Many placements, partnerships, friendships, marriages, (you name it) fail partly due to lack of communication, but even more so due to communication not being received, heard, or cared about.
If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is that if you have made a mistake, OWN IT. You may disagree with their version of events, but when it comes down to it, it took a lot for them to be honest and give you feedback. Their willingness to open up also shows the family wants this relationship to work too.
You Heard Their Side: This is Your Time To Speak Up Too
A performance review is not one-sided. It’s also your chance to professionally bring up anything you may feel unclear about. Once you have received their feedback, now it is time to see if you may ask some questions regarding future expectations or asks you may have to ensure you both leave the performance review perfectly aligned and happy.
Did your family add driving to your list of duties and is not giving mileage reimbursement?
Have there been workload changes, but no change in pay?
Are you wanting more opportunities to leave the home with the children?
Are contract obligations not being upheld?
Are there behavioral issues you have noticed with the child(ren) that you need to address and ask for guidance on?
You may have questions regarding duties and expectations, but you can also give the POSITIVE FEEDBACK at the end. Everyone loves to end on a positive note. I would recommend finishing with:
“While I know these conversations can be uncomfortable, I truly believe they are important to keep us all aligned on how to give your family the best experience possible during this phase of parenthood. I greatly appreciate your time, and would not be asking for feedback if I didn’t care. I truly love your family, and am so excited to come to work each day.”
Reviews are meant to support BOTH sides. This is a time to think of any questions that you have had, and WRITE THEM DOWN! When you get in the thick of these conversations, it can be hard to remember what you wanted to ask. Show you are prepared with your own questions as well.
Final Thought
Reviews keep relationships healthy, families reassured, and communication clear. They help you grow, help parents feel supported, and ultimately make your job easier and more sustainable. They also show you value feedback, and it starts to break down the communication barrier moving forward.
A simple check-in could be the reason you keep a great job and grow in it.
Wishing you and your families continued health, success and happiness in the New Year and always-
Paige Burlew and The Lone Star Nannies Team